Oh Glorious Bronzed Hornsman–How long we have awaited thy arrival!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen…the folks at WalMart are recognizing the buying power of Mormons, and are filling that with a glorious bronzed hornsman…complete with a tennis visor.
So how do you all feel about marketing efforts towards church members? Off shoot of church’s marketing plan as suggested by Deseret News? Tacky? Priestcraft? Necessary and welcome? Will you be buying a bronzed hornsman for your relatives this Christmas?
I’m rather disappointed. I was hoping for an Angel Moroni Tree Topper.
Comment by VeritasLiberat — November 21, 2004 @ 5:00 pm
Wow! I didn’t read the article; does it say how tall the Angel Moroni is? I would love to glue one to the hood of my car. It would be like a Mormon Rolls-Royce. Wouldn’t that be just the coolest?
Aaron B
Comment by Aaron Brown — November 21, 2004 @ 6:07 pm
What goes around, comes around. The Church has been using PR and marketing campaigns for decades now to target its missionary message to “the gentiles.” Now PR and marketing gurus are starting to use Mormon culture as a vehicle for marketing commercial products in all their varieties to Mormons. Personally, I’m waiting for the GA line of bobbleheads to come out.
Comment by Dave — November 21, 2004 @ 10:35 pm
I have never seen anything more beautiful, nor more appropriate. The greatest stocking stuff for the entire family, indeed!!
I think Dave’s right. It was only a matter of time before this stuff started to hit us. I have a feeling that as the Church continues to internationalize this phenomenon will only continue.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 22, 2004 @ 1:13 am
Anyone purchased a uniquely LDS olive-wood carving in Jerusalem? I’m trying to remember the name of the guy there who carves them.
Comment by danithew — November 22, 2004 @ 1:38 am
Aaron B,
If you promise to put that Angel Morini on your primary car as a hood ornament, I will buy it for you.
It is just too bad they don’t knock two cents off the price and then BYU football fans could relive the glory days while purchasing it.
Comment by a random John — November 22, 2004 @ 1:39 am
I second ARJ’s challenge to AB. I’ll pitch in for shipping.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 22, 2004 @ 2:47 am
Yeah, I’m not actually going to pitch in for anything, but Aaron, I double dog dare you!
Comment by Karen — November 22, 2004 @ 2:58 am
And just like that, Aaron clams up. I guess the Moroni would look disproportionately large on the hood of his Yugo.
Seriously, though, doesn’t this strike anyone as a form of idolatry? Weird, evil stuff.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 22, 2004 @ 3:59 am
Personally I don’t like to buy this kind of stuff, kind of makes me think of “idol worship” and although some of the items are neat, they are more or less just clutter items. Really, how many of us really need one of these?
However, I don’t think it is bad that people are marketing items towards our faith. Afterall, we started doing it ourselves, and all these “Mormon” movies that keep coming out are just going to add fuel to the fire.
Comment by Aimee Roo — November 22, 2004 @ 5:32 am
This is only the tip of the iceberg. Deseret Book sells Angel Moroni tree-toppers for Christmas.
There are Russian nesting dolls available of the prophets (though it’s only the “greatest hits” prophets - President Hinckley, McKay, Brigham Young, etc. Don’t forget the Nephite/Lamanite chess set (I hope Nate Oman finds that under his tree this year).
I don’t know if it’s evil, but it’s pretty weird. People just get obsessive about things that are important to them and put what they can in tangible objects. It doesn’t seem all that different than the Star Wars fan with the model Millenium Falcon.
My all-time favorite Mormon kitsch item: When Bill Clinton was President, bumper stickers were available that read, “Gordon B. Hinckley is *my* President.” Good times.
Comment by John H — November 22, 2004 @ 6:19 am
I quote directly from Robert Kirby’s Marketing the Faith:
“A couple of months ago I was in K-Mart looking for a bath mat when I stumbled onto something even better: shot glasses and beer mugs with the Salt Lake Temple embossed on them.
Maybe it was the ironic juxtaposition of holy edifice and devil’s swill that piqued my interest, or maybe it’s just that I’m a sicko. Anyway, I bought a set of shot glasses. That night, I introduced my kids to a new Kirby family tradition - root beer shooters.”
He then goes on to list some other items people might be induced to drop some after-tax, after-tithing cash on, like Gadianton robber action figures, liahona compasses for RVs and boats, and GA pogs and slammers.
But my personal favorite, and something no well-appointed LDS home could possibly be without, is a This Is The Place door mat.
Comment by CB — November 22, 2004 @ 11:39 am
To me it was the LLadro Cristus that really kicked this whole thing off. Since it wasn’t tacky it seemed to be a big seller, but to me it always had a hint of idolatry to it. If I have an idol and I don’t pray to it, is it ok? I can guarantee you that some poor member somewhere has prayed to a LLadro Cristus in time of need.
Comment by a random John — November 22, 2004 @ 1:39 pm
I’m still kicking myself for not buying the portrait of Pres. and Sis. Hinckley *on black velvet* that I saw at the fair in Provo last summer. eeeeeuw.
I have to say, though, that my revulsion at these things is probably just class-based snootiness, and not any genuine religious objection. The religious argument against idols just makes me feel better about being a snob. (Alas)
Comment by Kristine — November 22, 2004 @ 3:07 pm
There is always someone willing to make a buck off the Saints, and as the rest of the article points out, it is only going to get worse.
Comment by Scott — November 22, 2004 @ 3:28 pm
Wal-Mart sucks. They’re such an evil evil corporation. So even if I were Mormon I wouldn’t buy a bronzed hornsman from there.
Comment by Caren — November 22, 2004 @ 3:40 pm
If people started installing Moroni hood ornaments they would just get stolen and dangled from the chunk-jewelry-laden necks of Provo street thugs and Mormon rap artists.
Personally, I’m holding out for a musical version with a motion sensor that plays “Press Forward Saints” when someone walks past, like a faith-promoting version of Big Mouth Billy.
Comment by Jeremy — November 22, 2004 @ 4:41 pm
I can’t wait to get my first issue of the Book of Mormon comic.
Comment by Kim Siever — November 22, 2004 @ 11:10 pm
Hey Karen, isn’t it THINE arrival?
Comment by Steve Evans — November 22, 2004 @ 11:44 pm
darn, I think thou art correct, Steve….thine grammatical intuition hast impressed me. Or is it thy grammatical intuition?
Comment by Karen — November 23, 2004 @ 12:05 am
remind me to tell you about the creepy Quaker in-laws I have that use “thee” all the time? Even when they should use “thous”? Exceedingly creepy, I say to thee.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 1:04 am
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This is sweet! (I didn’t about the BCC when this was posted.) I’m getting one of those mats.
And danithew, the guy who sells LDS olivewood figures (not idolatry, IMO) at the expense of his other Christian customers who get offended becuase of them, is Omar. That is all I know. But the Jerusalem center might be able to give you his number.
Comment by Artemis — November 23, 2005 @ 2:39 pm
While it is kind of weird. I wouldnt put this under idolatry. I always thought of Idolatry as loving money or something more than christ your family or your fellow men.
Comment by Sultan of Squirrels — November 24, 2005 @ 12:26 pm
“And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you…”
2 Peter 2:3
I’ve always been bothered by “mormon merchandising.” It reeks of priestcraft to me.
Comment by Gamaliel — October 3, 2006 @ 9:32 pm
I just now returned from a visit to a house (in Provo no less) that prominently displayed the Glorious Bronzed Hornsman. It was quite the experience. The horn does not actually attach to his lips. In fact the mouthpiece is to one side of his forehead, which makes the whole thing a bit off. It did look a bit too fragile to place on Aarons hood.
Comment by a random John — October 6, 2006 @ 9:47 pm
Is that how they blow horns in China?
Comment by J. Stapley — October 6, 2006 @ 11:56 pm
I actually lifted it up and looked at the base when nobody was watching. Yes, I am a terrible guest. It was made in the Philippines.
Comment by a random John — October 7, 2006 @ 5:17 pm
Why is anyone surprised that Wal Mart would try to get in on a few more bucks? They have sold the bible and the coran for years…no one seemed to mind…but if it’s mormon in nature then it’s not a good thing. Bear in mind not all professed Christians are christian in their behaviour, or budhist, or (and the list goes on ad infinitum) I dunno, with all this attention specifically pointed at either refuting or supporting mormonism, the must have something there or no one would pay any attention. Think I’ll look into it…I believe Christ wasn’t to revered in his time either…took over 2000 years and commercialization for him to be accepted.
Comment by Annie — October 15, 2006 @ 1:41 am
Hmmm…I found this website because I was LOOKING for info on how to buy a treetop Moroni. My mother always has wanted to have an angel on the tree, while my dad has complained that real angels don’t have wings and all the treetop angels you can buy do. So I thought with Moroni on the tree they could both be happy. My husband thinks it’s a cheesy idea, but then, he didn’t really like the glass temple I wanted on our wedding cake either. Oh, I should point out that we do not live in Provo, or even Utah. The fam is in PA and husband, kids, and myself hail from Wisconsin.
Comment by mental utopia — December 4, 2006 @ 7:55 am