MASSIVE changes
The recent bait-and-switch at some other blog has caused us to consider the thirst of the average Bloggernacler for something new, something unique, something mildly blasphemous. We feel your pain, O ye unwashed masses. And so, on Wednesday, we will unveil some changes ourselves, BCC-style. Not the piddling, ho-hum changes you see elsewhere — oh no! Ours will rattle your teeth like a ride on the Cyclone, shift your paradigm without a clutch and cause you to question the very meaning of life. Prepare yourselves.
And those of you who know what’s going on, SHUT UP or I will e-break your kneecaps. The rest of you, feel free to speculate — the best rumor-mongerer will win a shiny new Bronze Hornsman.
MASSIVE changes, huh? We’ve heard that one before. What, are you going to change from the brownish color scheme to something a little cheerier?
Comment by Logan — November 23, 2004 @ 1:14 am
Or will it really be MASSIVE? Maybe a GA permablogger or something?
Comment by Logan — November 23, 2004 @ 1:14 am
MASSIVE, like a lot of MASS. One of the heavier Brethren will be joining us, possibly the Presiding Bishop.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 1:38 am
He’s pretty fat.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 1:39 am
Steve — as I already told you in our private email discussion yesterday, I’m all in favor of the bulk of the changes you have in mind, but I really don’t think the idea of nude photos of each of the perma-bloggers is likely to increase our readership. At least not the type of readers we want.
And for the ninth time, NO — airbrushing the photos will NOT resolve my concerns!
Aaron B
Comment by Aaron Brown — November 23, 2004 @ 2:45 am
What if I cropped us all together in suggestive poses? Like with Mat & Dave making out? AB, I could airbrush in a sock for you, Chili Peppers-style…
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 3:02 am
Wait, now we’re going to have to go MASS?
Comment by D. Fletcher — November 23, 2004 @ 4:19 am
Aaron,
I think you underestimate the drawing power of Steve’s simple suggestion. After all, people pay good money to look at celebrity photos of a certain sort. And remember, based on bloggernacle input, Steve does look like Topher Grace, and Kris like Meryl Streep. And Christina like Kate Beckinsdale. And Mat probably looks like a movie star too, though for some reason, no one made casting suggestions for him. (Even if he doesn’t, the rest of the group can make up for his slack).
With the ad revenue from the new “readers”, Steve will be able to upgrade his Haloscan comments even further. The sky is the limit . . .
Comment by Kaimi — November 23, 2004 @ 2:34 pm
I’ve already modified the meta tags on the site to googlebomb for “nude mormon celebrities.” Now, we just sit back and watch the manna flow. Thanks for the tip, Kaimi.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 3:00 pm
I’m happy to see flattering centerfold-type pictures of Kristine and Mathew, but I’m not sure I’m ready to look at Orrin Hatch in the altogether.
Comment by D. Fletcher — November 23, 2004 @ 3:46 pm
My guess is that BCC is taking out a new website. [edited] was purchased this past Sunday by Stephen Evans.
Edited By Siteowner
Comment by Kim Siever — November 23, 2004 @ 3:48 pm
*Yawn*. We’ll see.
Comment by Davis Bell — November 23, 2004 @ 3:57 pm
Kim, now play nice. I don’t make public what YOU do on the Sabbath, now, do I?
Davis, hold on to your butt!
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 3:59 pm
Finally making the switch to Wordpress eh?
Comment by danithew — November 23, 2004 @ 4:04 pm
Danithew, tempting though Wordpress is, it’s beyond out technical abilities!! No, we’re switching instead to an all-Adamic tongue blog.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 4:09 pm
Steve,
It’s Adamic now? I thought that you guys were switching to the Deseret Alphabet.
Comment by Kaimi — November 23, 2004 @ 4:17 pm
Kaimi, it’s Adamic. Didn’t you get the Adam-Ondi-Memo?
Man, I miss the days when we’d speak in tongues and talk about Onadagus and all that crazy stuff. We used to really have this religious edge to us! Now, the craziest stuff we’ve got is all in our scriptures, and nothing really weird comes out of Salt Lake (unless weird=super-conservative). Oh well. Once Bishop Burton (all 500 lbs of him) comes on board BCC, we’ll see if we can get him to expound a little on gettin’ the crazy on a bit more.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 4:23 pm
All this talk about Adam-ondi-Amman, the Deseret Alphabet, the Adamic tongue, Onandagus, fat general authorities, etc. has made me feel that this is the appropriate time to reveal the solemn truth.
After much prayer and fasting it has been revealed to me that the whole “white Lamanite” thing was mis-interpreted. Zelph was just as dark as other Lamanites until was attacked and sucked dry by a chupabraca.
Comment by danithew — November 23, 2004 @ 4:33 pm
That’s ‘chupacabra”, man.
I had to edit my own post for profanity!! Sorry, I guess “male goat” also means something quite nasty in Spanish…..
Edited By Siteowner
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 4:40 pm
I’ve been misspelling that for some time I guess. I am SO ashamed.
Comment by danithew — November 23, 2004 @ 4:49 pm
So, does this mean I get a hornblower?
Comment by Kim Siever — November 23, 2004 @ 4:58 pm
Oops, that should be “hornsman”.
Comment by Kim Siever — November 23, 2004 @ 4:59 pm
No to both questions, kim.
Comment by Steve Evans — November 23, 2004 @ 5:01 pm
That is very sad. I wanted a hornsman.
Comment by Kim Siever — November 23, 2004 @ 5:06 pm
Now I know why Dan Rather is leaving CBS. It’s to become a permablogger at BCC:
That’s almost as big news as him becoming LDS. (hey, don’t forget, you asked for rumor-mongering )
p.s. my only question is whether he is liberal enough for this blog.
Comment by danithew — November 23, 2004 @ 5:53 pm